Hello dears, Swirly here. Many of you, no..... ALL of you would have been wondering where Swirly has disappeared to of late. Following her spectacular modelling debut at the Paper Couture show, the entire grid has been abuzz with rumours ......... did Swirly suffer a nervous breakdown from the stress of playing such a critical role in the debut of the PC Fall collection? Did the pressure of knowing that her performance could make or break the Lu Sisters result in Swirly spiraling into deep depression, leading to her driving recklessly whilst under the influence, getting charged for possession of a small amount of cocaine, spending time in jail before having her sentenced commuted to house arrest, then shaving her head and booking herself into an exclusive rehabilitation facility for several hours? These, and many other questions, will not be answered here darlings. Swirly is, after all, an intensely private, withdrawn and reclusive individual who never likes to air her dirty laundry in public unless it involves that CHEATING LYING BASTARD Stephen Bentham who, incidentally, is lower than a diseased sewer rat.
Anyway darlings, on to the tedious business of fashion. Swirly says tedious because as you would all be aware, the ongoing grid problems are making simple tasks such as changing one's wig result in embarrassing problems such as the sudden growth of excessive untamed pubic hair. Now there may be nothing wrong with that for all you unwashed, hairy lesbian types, but for a man-eating red blooded woman like Swirly, this is a devastating social faux pas! Would Philip Linden himself want to see Swirly baring anything other than a pristine Brazilian wax? Swirly thinks not darlings!
Second Mirage makes FABULOUS jewelry and Swirly has been meaning to write about this store for quite some time. But what better time for Swirly to wax lyrical about this marvelous store than when they are having a half price sale? Yes darlings, everything at their main store is currently 50% off, but do hurry, this won't last much longer!
What Swirly LOVES about Second Mirage is that many of the designs feature top secret, patented, bosom enhancing technology. This technology is SO hush hush that even the designer herself was not aware of it until Swirly revealed it here! But as the pictures below will confirm, if you want to draw attention to your best assets, Second Mirage should be your first port of call.
Better than breast implants - don't Swirly's bosoms look ENORMOUS when highlighted by the Raven Gold Necklace with matching earrings? That fabulous hair is Evelyn Existentialist by Marlys by the way dears.
Forget the Wonder Bra my loves, all you need is Second Mirage's Tory Triple Necklace in Gold. Yes, that's three different strands there darlings, count them if you don't believe Swirly. Don't ask Swirly about the hair, it's only for very special people. Smooches Lu Sisters!
The Tess Diamond and Platinum Necklace is placed just a little high up to offer any bosom enhancing benefits - in fact, you cannot see Swirly's bosoms in this photo at all. It's still a stunning piece though, especially worn with the matching earrings. Swirly loves this set because it makes her look like the special princess she truly is. The stunning Shazy's Congo hair is from Marlys, so it is available to you lesser mortals. You can also pick up the Deco Eyelashes from Cake if you so desire, but just remember - they won't look as good on you as they do on Swirly.
Alright darlings, stop staring at Swirly's bosoms for a minute and get your emaciated little backsides over to Second Mirage for their FABULOUS sale!