Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Beta Testing with Swirly

Hello dears. Swirly was reading through what is left of the official forums when she noticed a section called "Beta Test Grid (Preview)". Swirly was irresistibly drawn to the word "preview" the same way she is drawn to the words freebie, review copy and Krispy Kreme, and immediately downloaded the beta client to see what new goodies the Lindens had to offer her. Taking her new job as a beta tester seriously, Swirly armed herself with pen and paper, ready to assist the Lindens by pointing out every little flaw in the new software.

Folklore Dress, Feather & Shell Earrings, 50s Dangle Owl and Patent MaryJane Ballets from boing fromage
Retro Bug Sunglasses from FNKY! & Cake
Shiny Skin in Light from Fashionably Dead
Zsazsa's Paris Wig and Supersize Diamond Top Eyelashes by ZsaZsa Withnail
The first MAJOR flaw that Swirly discovered was that her home location was unavailable and she was logged on to the grid at Miramare. Swirly tried numerous times to TP home but discovered that her home sim was not even on the map, probably deleted by over zealous Lindens in an attempt to further raise land prices. Lindens, this is NOT acceptable! The Lindens had a ploy to distract Swirly from the theft of her home sim however, a payment of 5000L to Swirly's account. Naturally, this was effective and Swirly decided to go on a shopping spree.

WHAT?? No shops??? Darlings, Swirly is sorry to have to let you know that the next version of Second Life contains hardly any shops. Almost all of Swirly's favourite stores are GONE. Search showed up but a tiny handful of stores. This renders Second Life completely unusable, and Swirly recommends that you all contact Linden Labs right now to complain!

Sleeveless Printed Frock 2 from boing fromage
Lolita Heart Sunglasses from Nylon Outfitters
Wilma Pearl Necklace from Kitty's Rampage
Balloo Funky Earrings from Mimi Therian Designs
Flower Sandals from Lo Lo
Jasmine Hair in Platinum from ETD
Shiny Skin in Light from Fashionably Dead
Fortunately, there were a handful of shops in the Miramare sim, most of which Swirly had never heard of. Shops with names like Barnes Boutique, Nylon Outfitters, Fashionably Dead, boing fromage, etc and Lo Lo........ Swirly figured they must be obscure new designers just starting out. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers, especially not beggars with 5000L burning a hole in their pocket...
Mohair Crochet Robe Kit, Feather & Shell Earrings, and Patent MaryJane Ballets from boing fromage
Jackie O. Glasses from Nylon Outfitters
Supafly Afro from O & E
Shiny Skin in Light from Fashionably Dead
Swirly popped into the oddly named boing fromage store which is run by elka Lehane, and was quite surprised to find quite a number of stylish and classy outfits. Yes, outfits that Swirly would actually WEAR. Well done elka darling!
Broken Hearts MiniDress, Feather & Shell Earrings, and 50s Dangle Owl from boing fromage
Flower Sandals from Lo Lo
Vanessa Hair in Platinum from ETD
Shiny Skin in Light from Fashionably Dead
Swirly was delighted to find some wonderful skins with colourful makeups at the rather morbidly named store Fashionably Dead. How Toast Bard manages to stay in business with a store by that name defies belief, which may be why the skins are priced at only 750L for a pack of 8. Bargain darlings!

Hummingbird Sparkle & Fade Tank and Plaid Cuffed BoyShorts from boing fromage
Wilma Pearl Necklace from Kitty's Rampage
Balloo Funky Earrings from Mimi Therian Designs
Flower Sandals and Plaid Bucket Hat from Lo Lo
Lolita Heart Sunglasses from Nylon Outfitters
Jasmine Hair in Platinum from ETD

Shiny Skin in Light from Fashionably Dead
Swirly found the most fabulous accessory store in Miramare called Lo Lo. The designer Caroline Apollo makes incredibly stylish shoes, hats, handbags and hair. Swirly was NOT impressed that some of the handbags have a littering feature, which means that distasteful items such as condoms, pill bottles and kitchen sinks fall out of your bag as you walk. Really darling, there is just no need for this, in real life or SL. Please make sure that any future bags include properly closing clasps.
Long Tiered Crochet Skirt - Off White, Tintable Laine Bolero, Urban Bohemiam Ankle Wrap Flats and Cameo & Sautoir Set from boing fromage
"Fran" Hair in Golden from Calico Creations
Shiny Skin in Light from Fashionably Dead
One positive feature of the next release of Second Life that Swirly discovered during beta testing is that lag has been completely eliminated. Swirly was able to wander freely around what remains of grid without experiencing any lag at all! Swirly can be seen above dancing in a completely lag free environment.Another new feature is the removal of most other avatars - clubs and stores are empty and there is barely a green dot on the map to indicate the presence of anyone else at all. Swirly can only assume that this means that Linden Labs has deleted the 2 million plus "no payment info on file" accounts that have been slowing down the grid for quite some time. Swirly thinks this is a good thing, as clearly, men with no payment info on file do NOT make the best husbands.
Heather & Blue Stripey TankDress and Patent MaryJane Ballets from boing fromage
Candy necklace from Kru's Boutique
Balloo Funky Earrings from Mimi Therian Designs
Lolita Heart Sunglasses from Nylon Outfitters
V Pincurls Blonde Hair from Old Gravy
Shiny Skin in Light from Fashionably Dead
The last store that Swirly discovered was Nylon Outfitters. With a name like that, Swirly was expecting to find a poor selection of tacky synthetic outfits. Instead, Swirly found some of the best accessories she has seen in SL. Heart shaped glasses darlings, go buy them now!

All in all, Swirly was disappointed with her preview of the next version of Second Life. The removal of key features such as shopping and half the grid is clearly a backward step on behalf of Linden Labs. Still, Swirly was impressed by the lag free environment and the introduction of 5000L stipends. There does appear to be a major issue with the asset server however - when Swirly logged back into the main grid she found that what remained of her 5000L was GONE, along with all the fabulous new things she had just purchased. Swirly will be complaining loudly and at length to Linden Labs about this, and contacting the creators she purchased the items from to demand immediate replacements.

*smooches*